Family trouble

Not a great deal going on right now in terms of preparation so posts are not going to be frequent.

However, one thing is on our minds; well mine at least and that is Family.

This is not intended to be a massive family occasion we just don’t have the money for that and we’d like it to be mostly our close friends.  Two family members are required/invited right now; my daughter and S’s Mum.

I heard from my daughter this week though (as she had easter with my brother and sister’s families) that they are all excited to go and looking forward to the invite and details so they can make arrangements.

This came as somewhat of a shock and now a concern.  We know that although S has a similar sized family that none of them have any interest in spending several hundred dollars on flying to Hawaii and staying there whilst we get married.   I haven’t said anything that suggests that everyone is invited on my side either.

Our concerns are that;

  • My family are expecting a big American style wedding including reception.
  • We will have to pay for additional food etc to accommodate them.
  • Suddenly the wedding is heavily unbalanced with 12 adults on my side and 3 on S’s side.

Not sure how to handle this.  I don’t want to upset my family telling them they can’t come (I have history on this and my sister didn’t get invited to my first marriage which did upset her).  Equally we want this small and as inexpensive as it can be without my family dominating.  Obviously I would be happy to see my family and enjoy some time with them in a lovely place but I have to put that in context with the event as we have envisioned it.

I haven’t spoken to them, only to my daughter so at this point it is their own expectations. I am seeing them in July so am hoping to deal with it in person when I am there.

All I can think of right now is to explain that it’s; not a big wedding.  There won’t be a reception (in the traditional sense). S’s family are not going. If they turn up, then not to expect much, they likely won’t be part of the wedding itself* and they will have to fend for themselves and contribute to the event.

*Although being as it will be a public beach there’s nothing to stop them.

Setting the date?

How early should we pick a specific date?  We’ve got an idea of approximately when we would like to do it but I’m trying to work out what the deciding factor is.

Is it the availability of key guests? or the venue? or maybe the photographer we have chosen.

I’m concerned I guess, that we will spend too long thinking maybe this and maybe that and until we have one thing confirmed everything will be up in the air and potentially we’ll miss out on something.

Right now I’m unsure what will make us pull the trigger and set things in motion; I think the defining dependency is the venue.   If we book that everything else has to fit in.  But what if….

Ugh procrastination!

Must remember “Any decision is better than no decision at all”